Yo Gotti was definitely onto something when he said “it goes down in the DMs.”

If you aren't taking advantage of potentially being connected to anyone and everyone via social media, you’re doing it wrong. Whether you are looking for a friendship, relationship, partnership, or mentorship, a quick slide into the DMs can get you where you want to be. 

Sliding into someone’s DMs may seem scary at first, but hopefully these tips can help rid you of some of your DM-related stress.  This guide will unpack the four types of DMs you might be sending: friendship, relationship, partnership, or mentorship.

The four types of DMs rely on similar principals. Like any first impression, it is important to be confident, clear, and concise. Understand the reason why you are sending a message and craft the message with that intention in mind. Do your best to relate to the person on the other end but don’t overshare.  

Now, let’s break it down:

Friendship

Sending a DM with the hopes of making a friend is by far the easiest message to send. From the jump, make sure you're sending a message that you would want to receive. Don’t be too formal, but try to make your intentions clear. Unlike when you're sliding into someone's DMs to spark a romantic relationship, sending a DM when looking for a friendship can come out of the blue. Yes, it may come off a little bit random, but for the most part, individuals on social media are looking to be social and are accepting of new connections. 

First, understand why you are drawn to this individual. Is it their style? Their taste in restaurants? Their hobbies? Once you figure it out, use that to write your initial message. 

For example, when I was living in New York City, I saw a girl constantly posting stories from restaurants I wanted to try. Although I was scared, I bit the bullet and wrote this message:

“Hey girl!! You are hitting every single restaurant on my NYC bucket list and I couldn’t take it anymore. Lmk if you want to grab dinner sometime. If you are half as cool as your choice in restaurants, this is gonna be a blast.”

One bowl of spaghetti later and we were #squadgoals. 

Relationship

This one is a little tricky. There are various ways you can go about sliding into someone’s DMs if you’re trying to do it dirty, however almost all success stories include engaging in playful banter with your potential suitor. 

I said it once so far, and I will say it again: confident, clear, and concise! Do not, I repeat, do not continuously swipe up on someone’s story and constantly berate them with messages, that’s #creepy. 

Instead, try messaging them once, maybe twice, regarding something they posted that you are interested in. The key to the initial message is to be engaging enough to warrant a response, not just a “yes,” “no,” or liked message. It is also important that the person on the other end gets the gist that you are pursuing them. Nobody likes being confused. 

Partnership

Whether you have thousands of followers on Instagram or just a couple hundred, everyone has influence. Brands recognize this and are likely to offer discount codes or free products in return for the promotion of their products or company on your socials. Honestly, you should never be paying full price for any product you're promoting.

All it takes is a quick DM to get the partnership started. Below is a sample message that you can use when cold-dming a potential partner. 

Hey there (company name) team!

My name is (name) and I am a (age) year old living in (location)! 

I am very passionate about all things (what are you into).  When I saw your products, I got so excited because (why do you like 'em).

I am reaching out in regards to a possible collaboration. I would love to get my hands one your products and add them to my IG feed as a story or a post.

Attached is my media kit and a screenshot of my current feed, I am looking forward to hearing back from you!

Best,

(name)

If you are looking for more information about media kits and launching your micro influencer career, click here.

Mentorship

Although the first three DMs we have discussed can take place in any of your social media inboxes, the mentorship DM should be the only message sent through Linkedin. 

If you didn’t know, Linkedin is Facebook for all things professional, so it is important to keep your message neat.  

Just like when you slide into a DM on social media, you're shooting your shot on Linkedin. You might not get a response, but if you do, it can lead to something great. 

It is important to not send out mass messages so the person on the other end understands that you are solely interested in them and their experience. People can sense when you are not genuine and it makes them less likely to respond. Try to personalize each message to them and their professional journey to be more engaging. 

Below is a sample message that I have found successful:

Dear (sender’s name),

My name is (your name) and I am a graduate of (school) with a degree in (major).

I am looking to (what do you want to do/why) and would love to speak with you regarding your experience if at all possible.

I'm sure you are incredibly busy, but it would be immensely appreciated. 

Best Regards,

(name) 

Whether you are looking to make a new friend, enter a romantic relationship, partner with a brand, or further your career, it all comes down to shooting your shot. Make sure not to cross the line from confidence into creepiness. Keep your messages short and related to the experience of the person on the other end. 

Spread your DM-ing wings and fly!